🔬 What is The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck by Mark Manson about?
The book is about how not to overthink many things by creating better consideration for what to think or care (f*ck) about, and what should be ignored. The world right now is too crowded with information. Failing to filter what really needs to be digested will cause suffering in our lives.
🚀 The Book in 3 Sentences
- The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson encourages readers to focus their energy on things that truly matter rather than waste time and emotional bandwidth on unnecessary worries.
- Manson argues that life's struggles give it meaning, and that by developing stronger personal values, people can decide what is worth caring deeply about and filter out life's background noise.
- Through humorous and blunt language, the book makes the case that not obsessing over every problem, but cultivating mindfulness about a few key aspects of life, can lead to greater contentment.
🎨 Impressions
A counter intuitive book about having a better life. It encourages us to find (and face) a problem rather than avoiding it. Because life is a constant encounter with a problem, and by solving a problem we can be happy.
👤 Who Should Read It?
This thought-provoking and insightful book is ideal for individuals seeking an alternative perspective on personal growth and self-improvement. Those who have grown tired of conventional approaches may find value in Mark Manson's unique and unconventional viewpoints on life, relationships, meaning, and purpose. Embrace the challenge to question your beliefs and broaden your perspective through this thought-provoking read.
☘️ How the Book Changed Me
How my life/behavior/thoughts/ideas have changed as a result of reading the book.
- The book emphasizes that "suffering is part of life", which reminds me of the verse in surah Al-Balad (90:4) that states "Indeed, We have created humankind in 'constant' struggle.". Now I accepted that we (human) can't really avoid problems. It always be there. Our task is to wisely deal with it.
- The book changed my views towards a problem. We all have a problem in our life, but the problems isn't meant to take us down. We also don't need, or actually can't deal with all of those problems. Choosing which problem worth to be taken care of is essential. Question yourself, "If you suffer due to problems that will make you achieve a goal you care about, the suffering is worth it".
✍️ My Top 3 Quotes from The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck
“Life is essentially an endless series of problems. The solution to one problem is merely the creation of another.”
“To be happy we need something to solve. Happiness is therefore a form of action;”
"If you want the rewards, but not the struggle, you don’t really want it."
🌟 My The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck Review
I rate it 7/10. I recommend reading it.
📒 The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck Summary
- In today's world, where values such as success, positivity, and greatness are often prioritized, one might inadvertently find themselves feeling more insecure and miserable than ever before. According to Mark Manson, the path to true happiness and fulfillment lies not in caring about everything society tells us we should care about. Instead, he suggests that we focus on what truly matters to us and direct our choices accordingly.
- Manson argues that it's natural to make mistakes and experience suffering, despite our best efforts. Therefore, rather than striving for perfection, it's essential to accept these inevitable setbacks and learn from them. Moreover, he challenges the traditional self-help genre, claiming that their emphasis on self-improvement can actually reinforce the notion that one is inadequate, leading to a vicious cycle of dissatisfaction.
- In contrast to the widespread emphasis on positivity, Mark Manson contends that an excessive focus on the desirable can lead to an unexpected outcome: increased feelings of negativity. People who are fixated on attaining wealth, worthiness, or happiness may find themselves feeling increasingly impoverished, unworthy, and unhappy.
- The irony is that we live in a culture that encourages us to avoid negativity at all costs, leaving many feeling guilty for experiencing negative emotions when they inevitably arise. Manson refers to this phenomenon as the "feedback loop from hell." A well-intentioned positive desire can give way to a negative thought or emotion. This thought or emotion, in turn, triggers a cascade of other negative thoughts and emotions, creating a self-reinforcing cycle of negativity.
A Paradox: the more you pursue the positives, the more negative you’ll feel. Those who desperately want to be rich, worthy or happy will only end up feeling poorer, more unworthy or unhappy. On the other hand, the more you accept the negatives in your life, the better you’ll feel.
- To escape the cycle of negativity and break free from the "feedback loop from hell," Manson suggests two key strategies.
- Acceptance: Accepting the pain and confronting our negative emotions honestly is crucial for building trust and respect in relationships. By embracing our vulnerabilities and acknowledging our shortcomings, we can cultivate a deeper sense of self-awareness and strengthen our connections with others. Manson encourages us to view our rational selves as "disappointment pandas" that are bound to experience setbacks and disappointments in life.
- Action: Taking action is the catalyst for motivation rather than its cause. When we feel stuck in a rut, doing something—no matter how small—is the best way forward. Manson refers to this as the "Do Something Principle." By taking action and making progress toward our goals, we can gain momentum and confidence to tackle even bigger challenges in the future.
- Self-awareness is a multifaceted concept akin to an onion with numerous layers that can be uncovered to reveal profound insights about ourselves. The outermost layer represents our public self, which we present to the world and craft to project a specific image. Beneath this lies our private self, which includes complexities and aspects that we may be ashamed or afraid of. At the core are our deepest values, beliefs, and motivations, which can be elusive and challenging to unearth but hold significant importance in shaping our identities. So, let us embark on the journey of peeling back these layers and uncovering the hidden depths within ourselves.
- Mark Manson's coined term Disappointment Panda. Its a fictional bear that embodies our fear of failure, rejection, and disappointment. Unwanted yet essential, Disappointment Panda exposes truths we may not wish to face. By acknowledging these harsh realities, as urged by Manson, we foster personal growth.
- "The Do Something Principle" advocates overcoming procrastination and achieving goals by taking immediate action, regardless of its size. We tend to get trapped in a cycle of inaction, seeking the perfect moment or motivation. However, action fosters motivation; starting small generates momentum. To apply this principle:
- Don't delay – just begin.
- Break down large goals into manageable tasks.
- Reward yourself for taking action.
- Embrace the possibility of failure.
- The following are five counterintuitive values for living a fulfilling life, as suggested by various sources:
- Take Radical Responsability: Embracing problems and taking radical responsibility for their resolution is wiser than avoiding or bemoaning them. Instead of succumbing to despair and blaming external factors, focus on devising solutions. Assuming responsibility for issues strengthens and intelligence-enhancing your problem-solving abilities.
- Embrace Uncertainty: Uncertainty is an inherent aspect of life, and the futile attempt to control every situation will only result in stress and anxiety, according to Mark Manson. Embrace uncertainty by acknowledging its presence as a natural part of life, accepting that trying to control everything is impossible. Instead, focus on managing what can be influenced or changed while remaining open to new experiences and challenges. Practicing mindfulness and emotional resilience will enhance your ability to cope with uncertainty effectively.
- Fail forward: Embrace failure as an essential part of the learning process and personal development by practicing "failing forward." Recognize that an individual who outperforms you in a skill or area likely achieved this through their accumulated experiences with past mistakes. By remaining open to adversity, learn from failures and use them as stepping stones towards progress and success.
- Learn to say and hear NO: Learning to assertively express "no" significantly enhances your life by enabling focus on essential commitments and freeing you from trivial distractions. In relationships, the ability to communicate "no" fosters open dialogue, boundary setting, problem ownership, and ultimately strengthens bonds through mutual understanding, trust, and acceptance.
- Contemplate your Mortality: Confronting one's mortality fosters peace and happiness by allowing us to accept our transient existence within the vastness of the universe. By focusing on contributing to a larger cause that transcends personal existence, we can find fulfillment and live each day to its fullest potential, free from preoccupations with death or the need for lasting recognition.
“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” - Samuel Beckett